She did it again. Taylor Swift has created another album that has outperformed her competition. She became the first artist to occupy all 10 spots on the Billboard Hot 100 at the same time. She also broke the record for the most streamed album in a single day on Spotify, bringing in 185 million streams. Of course, I contributed to those figures because I listened to the album as soon as it was released. My initial opinions were mixed but overall positive, and as time went on, I formed some strong opinions. I have decided I want to review this album as if I am a food critic, dissecting every piece of a dish. I will only be reviewing the original tracks and not the 3 a.m. tracks. Finally, as you read, please remember that these are just my opinions, and you can feel however you want about these songs. So with that, let’s get started.

Track 1: Lavender Haze
“Lavender Haze” starts with the album’s iconic line, “Meet me at Midnight” as we are introduced to modern synths and a hard bass drum. This song’s overlapping vocals and harmonies give me a euphoric feeling throughout my body. This song is 100% a pop song, so if you’re not into that, this one’s not for you. It was a risk for Taylor to open the album with an upbeat modern sound, but for me, this one hits.

Track 2: Maroon
“Maroon” completely slows down the pace of this album, giving us a “slow dancing in the rain” vibe. The chorus of this song is addictive, making me fall to my knees every time I hear it. I honestly did not like this song when I first heard it, and man, was that a mistake. It still has a pop-like sound within the instruments but is balanced out with dark-sounding vocals and production elements. Overall, this was a solid song.

Track 3: Anti-Hero
“It’s me, hi!” I don’t like this song. This is the type of generic pop you would expect from Charlie Puth, not Taylor Swift. This song is a perfect example of an artist changing their sound to appeal to Tiktok. The production value is low, as the same bells play throughout the whole song. Although it was designed to be a single, I don’t know anyone who actually likes this song.

Track 4: Snow On The Beach (ft. Lana Del Ray)
One word. Underrated. Can you hear Lana’s vocals…no. But that should not take away from how good this song is. The fact is, the vibes of this song make me feel hopeful and refreshed about my life’s problems. The quiet bells and piano have me screaming and crying. And although they are quiet, you can’t deny that Taylor and Lana’s vocals mix so well together.

Track 5: You’re on Your Own Kid
The bridge at the end of this song 100% makes up for the snoozefest that comes before it. The lyrics are heart-wrenching to listen to, but I think they might be better off in a poem. But as I said before, the bridge of this song gives off “screaming in the mirror” vibes. This song was overall alright.

Track 6: Midnight Rain
James Charles!? Although the voice changer sections sound pretty good, it’s hard not to think of James Charles after somebody pointed it out. If you’ve ever heard a video of James Charles singing, go ahead and listen to this song again, and it will be ruined forever. On a good note, the high notes in this song are breathtaking.

Track 7: Question…?
This song is forgettable. It’s not bad; it’s just another pop song sandwiched in between two other pop songs. I really have nothing else to say because I’ve listened to it maybe twice. If you like this song… good for you!

Track 8: Vigilante Sh*t
I’m going to get so much hate for this, but this song is just alright. When I heard it for the first time, I LOVED it. But the more I listen, the more I get bored. It’s the type of song that gets a shocked reaction the first time but really isn’t all that good. It’s like the Walmart version of Reputation with lower production and corny lyrics… Sorry.

Track 9: Bejeweled
I feel like a princess strutting down a castle hallway in a sparkly dress. This song just feels like the Barbie section in a toy store. It makes me so happy when I hear it. There must be something laced in the instruments or something because this song is a bop.

Track 10: Labyrinth
This one is for the folklore girlies. I also didn’t like this song at first, which was another one of my mistakes. The little synth flare in the middle makes my shoulders tense in the best way. The dramatic bells have a teen angst that makes my soul feel alive. The instrumental parts of this song feel like seeing your childhood crush for the first time. No matter what kind of music you like, I think you will like this song.

Track 11: Karma
This is one of the best pop songs we have gotten in recent years. I feel like I’m walking through a pit of fire while my enemies fall to the ground. My favorite thing about this song is that all of the Swifties claimed this was going to be a Reputation follow-up and were completely trolled when Ms. Swift gave us “Karma is my cat.”

Track 12: Sweet Nothing
This song is also kind of forgettable. There’s just not much to it. I appreciate it but would not voluntarily put it on. It’s kind of repetitive and doesn’t have much going on. This isn’t the worst song, but it definitely isn’t the best.

Track 13: Mastermind
Where do I even start? This song IS the album. If you understand that, you know what I mean. The low, dark synths give me goosebumps. When it drops, it feels like I’m being punched in the throat, but in a good way. The story progression leading to the main point of the song makes me giddy just thinking about it. I love this song, and if you also love this song, I vibe with you.

So now that you’ve heard all of my opinions that mean literally nothing, let’s recap. This is definitely a modern-sounding album with new age synths and bass. But let’s be real. Taylor can’t just sit in her cottage and make little love songs for the rest of her career. This album is 100% moving in the same direction the music industry is moving, and she knows that. Overall, this album brings some really good hits but also some cheap trash. Obviously, I would take any music from Taylor, as she’s one of my favs. But from a neutral standpoint, I would give this album a 7.5/10. Compared to other albums, it falls right in the middle, definitely nowhere near Reputation and Speak Now but not as bad as 1989 and Debut. One thing we can all agree on is that Taylor knows what she’s doing, and you can ALWAYS count on her to produce some quality content.